winter not yet waned

on days like this, i can't stop yearning for summer.

i don't even like summer. but i can't stop looking at the flat, glaring white sky and remembering the endless blue, clouds bursting through the edges in slow-motion, fistfuls of gnats burrowing against my sweaty eyes, dry grass crunching between my toes as they wait for rain.

i don't even like summer, but my clothes grow heavier each day. march draws to an end, but i still dress like it's january.

i don't even like summer, because the hot air is hard to breathe, and i can find no position that i can stretch my body into without pooling more heat into the floorboards around my skin.

i don't even like summer, with pavement that stings to the touch and trees that drop pollen into my lungs and paychecks that wane down to a trickle.

i don't even like summer, but on days like this, i can't stop yearning for summer.

30 March 2018 16:28