Thought Quota

I pack in the following things: a 16 oz. jar of rice and beans, a banana, an apple, a few spoons of hummus, a piece of bread. At first, it seems like an excessive amount of food for a day, but then I remember that I've stabilized my Mondays so that I can peck at things over the course of twelve hours and do pretty alright for myself. Habits just mean fewer things to think about, fewer decisions to make.

It started with a routine late-night order; every time I went to Fuddle, I'd order a sirloin burger, medium, with lettuce and tomato, no barbecue sauce, and russet fries. My usual crowd is used to it; when I do this in front of someone new, or am overheard by a nearby stranger, I get the occasional odd looks for this oddly specific request that took zero deliberation. But this is an efficiency established after years of agonizing over menus; this is saving myself from further decision fatigue.

This is how I pack habits into my life. Little by little, all the things I should be doing all the time are etched into immutability so that I never have to wring my hands over deciding whether or not I feel like doing the dishes, watering the plants, clearing out my inbox, finishing my readings.

And the second I get knocked out of my routine, I'm helpless for the rest of my day.

24 March 2014 09:31

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