bachelor night cookies


steps to success:

  1. flip open the joy of cooking and confirm that you have enough butter to make oatmeal cookies
  2. realize that your butter is all in the freezer, so you have to set up an extremely slow double-boiler to soften them
  3. play with the dogsittee until you remember that your butter is probably melting in the wrappers
  4. put together the dry mix, but deviate from the spices based on what you want to finish from the ancient box of spices
  5. (grate. nutmeg. forever.)
  6. agonize over trying to pound the sugar, egg, and half-frozen/half-melted butter into something that you are ashamed to call 'blended' like the book asks for
  7. stand over the stove for a little more heat to melt the butter, damn it
  8. dump in the dry mix. remember, after getting a nice whiff of your overpowering spice mix, that you forgot the 'vanilla extract'
  9. (you haven't stocked vanilla extract in years when you realized whiskey is a fine substitute)
  10. the only whiskey left in the cabinet is a wee dram of 15 year macallan so you slosh in a wee wee dram
  11. mix, realizing you can keep working on breaking up butter chunks as you go
  12. dump in the last bit of oatmeal from the jar and go looking for the new bag of oatmeal
  13. fail to locate a new bag of oatmeal
  14. realize you're out of oatmeal
  15. add a cup of sunflower seeds instead
  16. bake two cookies to test
  17. decide that this is fine, but it's now almost midnight and you're tired, so you'll only make one more batch and stick the rest in the fridge
  18. as usual, get greedy with pan space and put them too close together
  19. watch in horror as half the cookies on this pan collapse and melt into each other
  20. when they're done baking, scrape them onto a plate in a big pile, because, let's be real, you're just going to eat this mess with a spoon for breakfast. in your oatmeal bowl. because you're out of oatmeal and have nothing else to eat for breakfast.

this, surprisingly, worked. i am not really a baker, though.

the full recipe

heat oven to 350F; prepare for 45ish cookies

flour mixture:

blend well in a large bowl:

stir in the flour mixture, then add:

on a greased cookie sheet, drop smallish spoonfuls about 2 inches apart. flatten, or not, at your whim. bake for about 9 minutes, or until golden brown all over. let stand for a few minutes to set, then remove to a plate for cooling.

27 May 2017 23:49


valid?